A comic song, sung by John Winans

Tune, “Cork Leg.”.

Oh, ladies and gents, I sing of mishaps,
About a dandy who used to wear straps:
I chanced to see him ‘tother day in the street,
And he had his suspenders under his feet.
Ri tu, di ni, &c.

Says I to him, “What do you call them ‘ere,
That pulls you straight down from your feet to
your hair?”
Says he, ” Aw fellow get out of my way,
To a gawky like you I’d have nothing to say.”
Ri tu, di ni, &c.

Says I, “Mr. Dandy mind your eye,
Or I’ll cut your straps and let you fly;
And if I should cut them, right up you’d go,
And you’d never be seen again below.”
Ri tu, di ni, &c.

The chap got angry, and he said,
“I’ll lay this cane about your head.”
He raised his cane with all his might,
But he couldn’t strike his straps were so tight.
Ri tu, di ni, &c.

I took advantage of the strife,
And from my pocket drew my knife,
I cut his straps so quick in two,
That into the air this chap then flew.
Ri tu, di ni, &c.

I heard him bellow with all his might,
Until he got clear out of sight;
Then I suppose the fellow thought,
That in a whirlwind he’d been caught.
Ri tu, di ni, &c.

A great many people saw the sight,
And thought that Miller had taken his flight;
They then brought a glass the truth to see,
And they wondered how such a thing could be.
Ri tu, di ni, &c.

Folks came running to me, and did say,
“Have you seen the phenomena?”
“Oh yes,” says I, “be not surprised.
He’s only on a mission to the skies.”
Ri tu, di ni, &c.

MORAL.

If there’s any one here that wears the straps.
Be careful you don’t fall into the s1me mishaps;
For if you do, you will all soon,
Be sent above to converse with the moon.
Ri tu. di ni, &c.

From: Marsh’s Selection, Or Singing for the Million. Vol. 1. New York: Marsh, 1854: 81-82.