In equal silence, as we have already stated, is the name of Constantine passed over; but to make us amends for such trivial omissions, M. de Chateaubriand, well knowing that his forte lies in the gaudy and rhetorical, or wishing, we suppose, to show us how well he can discriminate who are the fit objects for history, gives us the following full-length portrait of , Heliogabalus!
‘A young Syrian, a priest of the sun, his eyelids painted, his cheeks coloured with vermilion, wearing a tiara, collar, and bracelets, a tunic of cloth of gold, a silken robe, à la Phénicienne, and sandals, adorned with engraved diamonds; surrounded by eunuchs, jesters, songsters, male and female dwarfs, dancing and moving backwards before a triangular stone , Heliogabalus, in fine, comes to reign among the hearths of the ancient Horatii, to rekindle the chaste flame of Vesta, to bear the sacred shield of Numa, and touch the venerable emblems of Roman sanctity. ‘
‘Under Heliogabalus, the vice which particularly ruled the world was obscene brutality, , political supremacy was acquired by moral debasement, and none were raised to power who had not previously stood the test of debauchery. In the selection of his paramours he sometimes chose a chariot driver of the circus, and sometimes the son of a cook. He had prepared for his death, in case of need, a silken cord, a golden poniard, poison inclosed in crystal vases, and an inner court, paved with precious stones, on which he might precipitate himself from a high tower. These resources were, however, useless. He spent his time in infamous places, and was killed in the latrinae; after which his assassins cut off his head and dragged his body along the streets, intending to throw it into the sewer, but, finding the entrance too narrow, they gave Heliogabalus the honour of the Tiber. Despotism having descended so low that its degradation deprived it of power, the Romans now enjoyed a brief breathing space; for in these ignominious times, general disgust occupied the station of public liberty.’
The reign of this unfortunate boy, which did not last four years, which led to no earthly consequences as regarded the permanency or the decadence of the state, is thus swelled out to a length of description equal to what our judicious author bestows on any four reigns besides. Nay, not content with this allowance, we have the most important Heliogabalus again specially in the preface. The refined and delicate taste of the Parisians, it appears, had taken alarm at the above passage, , and the Viscount begs to explain.
‘The Greek and Latin languages, formed by Republicans, preserved, even in slavery, the free character of their origin. Without offering any insult to propriety, our language, now that it has left the drawing-room, to resound in the tribunes, should adopt a little of this popular character, and blush at nothing, while scourging the memory of tyrants. When, after the description of the diamond pavement, golden poniard, and poison inclosed in crystal vases, which Heliogabalus had prepared for his closing scene, the Latin historian concludes with the words, “atque in latrina, ad quam confugerat, occisus,” we must translate them, or renounce for ever the vengeance of history.
‘Tillemont has attempted great delicacy in his expressions, and how has he succeeded? “Heliogabalus,” he says, “had hidden himself in a part of the camp the most filthy and most worthy of him, still hoping to escape by some secret path.” Crevier’s frankness is far less offensive to the imagination; after having enumerated all the inventions of Heliogabalus for a magnificent suicide, he adds, with historical sarcasm, ‘C’e'tait bien de la dépense, pour finir par être massacré dans les latrines!!!’
Who would not imagine from all this that Heliogabalus was one of the most weighty personages in the Roman history; a man so particularly worthy of the ‘grandes vengeances historiques,’ as even to make it necessary to brave the honnêteté of the Parisians by daring to print a word , a much plainer synonyme for which stares them in the face night and day, as an illuminated advertisement of their most fashionable promenades. But as we have mentioned Heliogabalus, we must remind M. de Chateaubriand that even the egregious blockhead who writes that emperor’s life, in the Historia Augusta, does not believe all the astonishing stories told of his depravity, and admits that many of the calumnies against him were invented, from a desire of flattering his successor. What strikes us with peculiar abomination in the poor youth’s character is, alas! shared by some of the greatest names in heroism and philosophy of the ancient world; and it is plain that greater indignation was excited against him among his contemporaries by his outrageous dandyism and foreign manners, than by any, even the darkest of his vices. The remark of the Augustan compiler did not escape Mr. Gibbon, and therefore we wonder that it was not discovered by M. de Chateaubriand, who has so indefatigably exercised his fingers in preying upon that great historian. Some of the expressions of Heliogabalus, as, for instance, when with equal wit as truth, he called the grovelling senators of his times ‘mancipia togata,’ give us a better opinion of his intellect than we should infer from the general tenor of his dissipated and depraved life. It would be easy to point out mistakes in M. de Chateaubriand’s remarks above quoted, but ‘le jeu ne vaut pas la chandelle.’ We may, however, afford three words to ask him in what particular of sanctity the ancilia of Numa surpassed the triangular stone of Heliogabalus, both being, in all probability, aerolithes? Surely the superstitions of the east were as respectable as those of the west; they were, indeed, derived from a higher and more philosophical origin.
Quoted from: “Chateaubriand’s Latest Productions.” In: The Foreign Review and Continental Miscellany. Vol. 1, 1828.