The Imperial Chapter of Body Formers

• Posted by mgr on January 10th, 2009 filed in HISTORISCHES, Zeitdokumente
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“Monsieur Tonson come again.”

Coleman.

My dear Friends,

My last communication informed you of a number of gentlemen, including myself, having associated together under the title of: The New-haven Dandy Club, and chosen for our President, a member who appeared to be possessed of eminent qualifications. Disappointment “sat heavy” on the countenances of the other candidates, and it was seriously feared that the harmony of the association would be disturbed by their jealousies and mortified ambition. From this cause many gloomy forebodings prevailed among us; but an experienced member soon proposed, in private conversation, an antidote to the poison which had began to operate. He informed us that in other societies whose peace had been threatened in the same way as our own, every thing had been restored to perfect harmony, by making vice-presidents of all the unsuccessful candidates for the presidentship. He stated that when this plan was adopted, care was usually taken to put one or two efficient men among these officers, and then all went on safely, though the majority of them might be but wooden guns. At the next meeting we acted in pursuance of his wise advice, and in gratitude for the signal benefit he had conferred upon us, assigned him the responsible station of secretary. It was thought unnecessary to appoint a treasurer. We are familiar with the art of turning the simplicity of tradesmen and vulgar creatures of that sort to our own advantage, by buying their goods and manufactures upon tick, and paying for them—when it suits our convenience; of course there cannot be any difficulty in obtaining credit for ail the little accommodations which we may want in our social capacity, nor any occasion for taxes, collections or accounts.

One of our first measures was to direct our honourable secretary to open a correspondence with distinguished men of fashion in other parts of the United States. The consequences of this wise step have been even more beneficial and important than we expected. It has led to our adoption into one of the most ancient, honourable and extensive societies to be found among men. You are no doubt acquainted with the high standing and character of the most noble order of free and accepted masons. You may too have learned that there are among them various grades, some of which, for wise reasons, have been almost entirely secluded from vulgar observation. Of these higher parts of the grand system, the society which has recently extended its paternal protection to us, is the most important. Impenetrable mystery has hitherto covered it, but the particular causes of concealment having passed away, you shall be favoured with a general account of its character and design.

And first, you must know that its title is: The Imperial Chapter of Body Formers. Like all other masons, its members sedulously cultivate the science of architecture; but they differ from their humble associates in this, that while these confine their attention to inanimate and originally shapeless substances, they work upon living materials, and improve the appearance of that which is most grand and beautiful in the productions of nature, building up “the human form divine” into unwonted grace and elegance. You must be sensible that so high an aim as the Imperial Chapter proposes to its members, can only be reached by long continued exertions. Accordingly, though it has existed for some thousands of years, and carried on its operations in every part of the habitable earth, its efforts have not, until the present enlightened age, been attended with such a degree of success, as to induce it to demand the gratitude of mankind. Innumerable are the experiments that it has made,—slow and sometimes retrograde has been its motion,—but at length in this favoured period of time, by some few of those happy conceptions of first-rate genius, which influence the destiny of man through many ages, and seem almost to have flowed from the inspiration of some benevolent spirit, the grand result has been reached— the principles of human beauty have been ascertained and established,—and the method of carrying it to its utmost limit has not only been discovered, but actually exhibited in practice. Glorious days! when deformity is no longer a misfortune, but a mere neglect! Illustrious age! soon to arrive, when grace and beauty shall throw indescribable loveliness over all that breathes and moves upon this “mundane sphere!”

Excuse me, my good friends, if my feelings have led to a little extravagance. Who can be unmoved in the contemplation of what is now taking place? The labours of more than forty centuries are at last rewarded! The aspirations, toils and disappointments of millions of enlightened men ardently engaged in the pursuit of a noble science, have now terminated in complete success! The grand discovery is made— already it has been carried into operation—and soon, very soon, it will change the whole face and appearance of animated and rational nature!

But I forget myself. Benevolent and enlarged as are your views, you cannot fully sympathize with one, whose whole soul has been engaged in the subject, which excites his passionate exclamations. In the warmth of my emotion, I have overlooked your comparative ignorance of its cause. I will endeavour to compose my feelings, and give you a plain account of the discoveries which have honoured the Imperial Chapter.

You are aware that many of the most important arts and sciences owe their origin, or the degree of perfection which they have attained, to accidental circumstances,—slight coincidences,—or little fancies suddenly springing up, which true genius has enlarged and ripened, to the perpetual benefit of mankind. Not to speak of the apple which fell upon Newton’s head and taught him the laws of gravitation,—nor of the children’s play which produced the first telescope, and led to the proof of those laws,—nor of the early periods of society when men gathered skill from beasts and birds;—I would remind you, that two of the orders of architecture arose from attempts to imitate the appearances of strength and beauty, which severally adorn the sterner and the lovelier part of our species; and that a basket half buried in weeds gave rise to the noblest ornament which that science can boast. Whether a knowledge of the effect, which close observation of natural appearances had upon the minds of ancient inventors—or innate genius—was the guide of an illustrious architect of the highest rank, is not known; but certain it is, that one, whose name, though now concealed through modesty, shall hereafter descend like that of Callimachus to remote generations, has been happily led into the same train of thinking, which produded the highest elegance in Grecian structures. We look back to the days when Athens flourished, for the perfection of beautiful forms of inanimate matter; but after the lapse of two thousand years, our age shall appear resplendent on the page of history, for it has developed the true principles, on which, living, active, rational man shall exhibit the grace, beauty and grandeur, that become his elevated rank in the scale of existence.

The exultation of success, and the glorious prospects expanded before my enraptured sight, have again drawn me away from the sober narration that I intended to give you; but I will now endeavour to make out a plain account of what feeling has already induced me to dilate upon. Our illustrious discoverer, reflecting on the various shapes which animated and inanimate matter had assumed under the plastic hand of masonic ingenuity; and considering that none which had been forced upon the human frame had as yet improved its appearance; turned his attention towards the forms by which lifeless stone and wood had been clothed with beauty. Of these he was particularly struck with the pyramid, and its near relative, the cone, whose elegant gradation is, in some degree, imitated in every magnificent edifice, while all those which are modeled in exact conformity to them, are found to bid defiance to time and accident.

In applying them to mankind, many of those difficulties appeared, which deter moderate genius and courage from the proseculion of commenced undertakings, though they only serve as stimulants to real energy. And first, the foot and the lower half of the person are smaller than the head and body; whereas the base of the cone is broad, and its top a point. And again, there are so many curvatures, depressions and irregularities in the human figure, that no common talents would ever find out a method of reducing it to mathematical exactness. But our persevering discoverer replied to the suggestions, which timidity urged on the first point, that in all other buildings where the beautiful outline of the pyramid or cone was preserved, the smaller part was placed at the greater distance from the eye, and of course in the elegantly constructed human figure, the shoulders must still remain larger than the feet. The difficulty arising from the irregularities of the human shape was indeed too great to be overcome, but it was evaded in a manner, which made ultimate success more complete and glorious. It was seen to be impossible, however pliable the skin, muscles, nerves, arteries and veins might be, to compress or extend the bones into the exact resemblance of one single regular solid; but there appeared no violation, but rather a prolonged and multiplied gratification of taste, in moulding the shape into a succession of similar perfect figures. Accordingly our hero (for one who has done so much for mankind deserves the noblest titles) immediately began to operate upon himself. He first procured a hat which spread into ample breadth at the top, and beautifully tapered towards the brim. This part of the covering of the head, sa useful to the eyes of the wearer in protecting them from the sun, now delighted the optics of admiring observers, by forming the base of a second inverted cone, which was almost completed by the tightness, (maliciously considered by some as indicative of future fate) with which the cravat was drawn around the neck. But the chef d’Å“uvre of mechanical and mathematical skill was exhibited in the next truncated cone; for the chest and shoulders, by dint of squaring, straining, throwing out, pulling back, stuffing, and padding, were brought to a most magnificent breadth and fulness, and formed a noble commencement of the figure, which the body now assumed, in its elegant expansion over and around the lungs and heart, and its equally elegant contraction, produced by strong bandages and straps, in the meaner neighborhood of the stomach. The same admirable succession of shapes, enlarged in the beginning and diminishing regularly toward the end, was continued down to the heel of the boot; which not being susceptible of pain, like the preceding subjects of scientific operation, was brought exactly into the desired form, and preserved from losing it, by a well-fastened piece of iron, in the precise shape of that, which is usually put under the foot of a horse or an ass.

When our benefactor (for who is not indebted to him?) had proceeded thus far on the road to perfection, he might have safely and quietly reposed, under the shade of the laurels that he had gathered; but it is the part of “rich genius,” “to throw in another dole,” “after it has already done enough and more than enough.” He chose to add ornament to proportion, and grace to elegance. Happily at this stage in the progress of discovery, the wonder and monarch of the deep made his appearance in the vicinity of our shores. Ever intent on gaining useful ideas from all quarters, our inventor joined the throng, which hastened to Gloucester, to see the far-famed serpent of the ocean. While in silent admiration he beheld the majestic and graceful movements, and the elegant contour of this most dignified inhabitant of the waters, the illumination of genius flashed upon his mind—vivid and forcible as lightning. More transported, than was Pythagoras at the discovery which demanded a hecatomb,—he exclaimed Eureeka! Henceforth, O sovereign of the waves, the lord ot the land shall appear with suitable majesty, for he shall imitate thy noble port, and magnificent adornments!

The joys of successful discovery, and the dull matter-of-fact business of applying it, form an admirable contrast. In the one, the rapt soul soars above all common concerns, and beyond all near periods of time. In the other, she descends to every poor vulgar substance and instrument, and is pinned down to the pitiful present. As a bathos must thus actually occur after some of the most sublime emotions of the mind, you will excuse it in these pages, when you see the description, which I am now about to give, of the simple means, by which under the guidance of powerful genius, the human form was raised from its advanced state, to absolute perfection. Its general proportions having been established, nothing but a little embellishment was wanted. This was attained, by exactly copying the bunches or protuberances which extended along the back of the serpent. The hair was suffered to grow till it formed a thick mop behind the head. The next bunch was made by a stuffing in the cravat. After this succeeded stiff quilting and whale-bone bracers over the shoulders, which brought out those emblems and instruments of strength in noble projection. The same process was continued down to the feet, and extended to almost every part of the body. When our patron had thus spread grace and beauty over his person, he presented himself in public, marching in a gait which closely resembled the sublime, slow, vibratory motion of the serpent. Universal admiration was the immediate consequence. The worshippers of the fair were thrown into terrible consternation, for they saw that after the appearance of the charms which were now exhibited, they must be considered but as hideous monsters. They were however soon relieved from absolute despair, for the author of these noble inventions communicated them at the next meeting of the Chapter, in order that they might be generally diffused for the benefit of mankind. This benevolent work was soon begun, but, strange to tell, it met almost insuperable obstacles from prejudice and self-indulgence.

The noble art thus perfected, was stigmatized as foppery, and many men were found, who were too sensual to bear the pain and government of appetite, which the system involved; as if every important advantage were not attended by some inconveniences. Yet the resolute members of the Imperial Chapter have steadily pursued their good course. By persuasion and example they slowly extend the benefits of dandyism, and, as far as possible they afford protection to all its votaries. On some of the principal members in a neighbouring city being informed by the correspondence of our secretary, that we were associated in a club for mutual advantage and encouragement, the fact was made known at a general meeting, and it was immediately sesolved to send to New-Haven, a deputation who should be duly authorized to admit as many of us as should accept the proffered honour, into the Imperial Chapter. You will readily believe that none of us shrunk from a union with this illustrious order. Thus the long course of mortifications, slander, suffering, and privation, that we have endured, has terminated in the highest advancement. Under the great advantages which our new relation gives, and the powerful protection afforded us, our future course will be smooth and rapid. “The gales of prosperity” shall waft us joyfully along “in the full tide of successful experiment.” Obloquy and detraction shall “hide their diminished heads.” I now address you for the last time—henceforth we “shall have no need to proclaim our triumphs; they will be felt in the silence of universal” admiration.

Yours, with much consideration,

Concinnus.

*** We have received a poem, from a Correspondent to whom we are already much indebted. As it will occupy more than one number, and as it would materially injure it to be divided; we shall postpone Tuesday’s paper to Friday, and then present our readers with the communication entire.

Quoted from: The Microscope. May 26, 1820.

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