I believe that a gentleman is any person with a tolerable suit of clothes, and a watch and a snuff-box in his pocket,
I believe that honour means standing fire well; that advice means affront, and conviction a leaden pill.
I believe that adoration is only due to a fine woman, or her purse: and that woman can keep but one secret; namely, her age.
I believe that my character would be lost beyond redemption, if I did not change my dress four times a day, bilk my Schneider, wear a Petersham tie, and patronize Hoby for boots.
I believe that playing at rouge et noir is the only honourable way of getting a livelihood; that a man of honour never pays his tradesmen, because ” they are a pack of scoundrels;” and that buying goods means ordering them without the purpose of paying.
I believe that the word dress means nakedness in females; that husband is a person engaged to pay a woman’s debts; that economy means pusillanimity; that a coachman is an accomplished nobleman; and that any person talking about decency is a bore.
I believe that there is not a cleverer or prettier fellow on the town than myself; and that, as far as regards women, I am altogether irresistible,

From: The gentleman’s pocket magazine. 1828