Awoke at two, and call’d for tea,—
Mem. — Pierre forgot my strict commands
To fly express to Jean Dupree,
For lily-water for my hands:
But delicate, and soft, their touch,
Although un-wash’d; — which clearly proves
To Exquisites, how very much
They owe to wearing chicken gloves.
Arose, and us’d my secret washes,
(The Ladies’ envy whilst they praise;—)
Assorted whiskers, and mustachios,
For lounging — field — and gala days.
Mem. — Pierre drew on my patent boots
With six inch heels; – look’d very tall,—
Survey’d my regimental suits,
Not meaning to attend the ball.
My pigeon breasts, and padded sleeves.
Made my whole front en militaire;
Mem. — By their aid a youth receives
The approbation of the Fair.
Look’d very noble Pierre confest,
— His compliments “all very neat,—
“And, whilst he prais’d, methought my breast
With glowing martial ardor beat.
Five. — Visited by Languish, — now
Prime-minister, — who (ever warm
To serve me —) has convinc’d me how
To chuse a reg’ment’s uniform.
— His Lordship’s hair divinely neat!—
Mem. — Told me, at his house a few
Staunch Patriots that day would meet
To plan distilling Naples’ Dew.
Begg’d me to go — but I declin’d,
Since, wearied by his Lordship’s call,
I felt depress’d; — so chang’d my mind,
And thought I’d venture to the ball.
Six. — Rang for Pierre to change my dress,
Resolv’d to see a favour’d Beauty.—
Mem. — Pierre was arch, — and seem’d to guess
My meaning by the toilette’s duty.
But, as the lily grac’d my cheek,
I grac’d the lily with the rose;
And, though my nerves were very weak,
Pierre huddled on my ball-room clothes:
Cork pumps, false calves, high collar, — stays
That Exquisites with rapture view;
(Which elegance of shape displays)
And fashionable wig — quite new.
Upon my temple saw a spot, —
Was much alarm’d, — but found relief
From salts; — Mem. — Pierre well nigh forgot
To scent my cambric handkerchief.
A witty epigram perus’d,
And thought of smoking a segar;—
A vice now fashionably us’d
By many Gentlemen Of War.
My brilliants all were well display’d,—
My di’mond snuff-box, broche and rings;
And Pierre’s good taste arrangements made
For shewing fifty pretty things.
Ten. — Elegantly dress’d, — when I
Look very delicate,—but well;
Mem. — From my lip escap’d a sigh
For Lady Desdemona L.
Went to the ball, — oh! wondrous chance!
Saw my ador’d Aspasia there;—
Knew not she had return’d from France,
And was enchanted with her air.
Mem. — Danc’d two waltzes, — saw her home –
In raptures! — cou’d not quit her house !—
Assur’d her I should often come
To see her, — and grew amorous.
Mem. — Kiss’d her pretty fingers twice,—
She told me that I rude had grown;
And fear’d I had improv’d in vice
Since I had been her friend in Town.
— Got home by three, and gently wept, —
Then rang for Piekre ; and tranquil grew;
At four, — got into bed, and slept
Until I rose next day at two.
From the preceding Journal and following lines, thou, Reader, mayest draw the
Within their hearts a noble flame
Our British Ancestors conceal’d ;
Whence sprung their love of honest fame,
And shew’d them Lions in the field.—
Now call upon that Lion, — see
A “Dandy”-lion rears his head! —
Which Botanists declare to be
(In vulgar phrase) — a p—ss-abed!!!
From: Thomas Moore: Replies to the letters of the Fudge family in Paris. London, 1818.